Colbert to Scalia: You Already Had Your Head in a Sack

Justice Antonin Scalia fiercely dissented in yesterday's Supreme Court ruling legalizing gay marriage—so fiercely that he inspired a Scalia burn-generator, and vowed he would hide his "head in a bag." Responded Stephen Colbert, "I could’ve sworn he was already hiding his head in a flesh-toned cinch sack," then, without missing a beat, "please come on my show, sir." Colbert's took a swipe at the ruling's timing: "Wow, history moves fast. It’s hard to believes that gays achieved full constitutional personhood just five years after corporations did." (The New York Post runs down a list of comedians whose jokes ultimately helped legitimize gay marriage; Colbert makes the list with a similar Citizens United taunt.)

Scalia had complained that the court "has descended from ... disciplined legal reasoning to the mystical aphorisms of the fortune cookie," leading Colbert to pull out his own fortune cookie and read: "The history of marriage is both one of continuity and change ... in bed. Gay lucky numbers: 5 to 4." (More US Supreme Court stories.)