Stephen Colbert Entertains House Panel

Steven Colbert had barely sat down for a House Judiciary Subcommittee hearing on migrant workers today when Michigan Democrat John Conyers asked him to leave, the Boston Globe reports. Conyers objected to the media attention Colbert garnered, saying he hadn’t seen so many reporters at a hearing since the Clinton impeachment. Colbert refused, and said in his opening statement he welcomed the attention. “I certainly hope my star power can bump this hearing all the way up to C-SPAN1," he said.

As promised, Colbert testified in character, throwing out absurd pronouncements. "The obvious answer is for all of us to stop eating fruits and vegetables," he said, but then explained that they were a necessary source of roughage, submitting his colonoscopy video as evidence. Then he suggested we "have scientists create vegetables that can pick themselves." When Lamar Alexander asked if he thought his one day on the farm qualified him as an expert, he replied, “I believe one day of me studying anything makes me an expert.” Asked if the work was hard, he replied, “It’s certainly harder than this.” (More Stephen Colbert stories.)