Fireworks? Bah, Humbug!

Looking forward to the Fourth of July fireworks? You’re probably a moron, writes Troy Patterson of Slate. Look, it’s fine if you want to use a Roman candle at the family cookout: “Doing dangerous stuff in your cousin’s backyard is an important element of American culture.” But pro fireworks are “an exercise in pomposity, aggression triumphalism and hubris,” Patterson writes. They're “meaningless nonsense.”

The people hooting at fireworks displays “are the same sort who lined up at bear-baiting pits back in the day and, in modern times, watch Howie Mandel reality shows.” Yes, light and fire can be cool. But it’s always more fun when stuff explodes. Fireworks don’t have that drama. “There is violence, but there is not sex.” (More fireworks stories.)